My whole life I have dealt with low self-esteem issues and a feeling of being misplaced in many different ways up until my late 20s, and I still get feelings like this sometimes, but it does not control me anymore.
Here is a peek into the way my inner world looked before I fully began to embody my true self, gifts, & my own power to transform and heal my life from the inside out.
- I lived in a hole of low self-esteem
-I was terrified of being rejected.
-I felt like I was ugly, hated my body, and how I looked.
-I would dwell on all of my seeming mistakes, and replay over and over how I should have done things differently.
-I felt like I could never do anything right.
-I was always drowning in a sea of emotions. I had a hard time processing traumas in my life, and I let them suck me in.
-I felt completely alone, even when I was surrounded by people.
-I felt like no one understood me or even wanted to.
-I never felt like I was doing enough because I didn’t feel like I was enough.
-I had an extreme fear of abandonment that stemmed from childhood traumas.
- I would feel guilty for feeling sad about my own pain because I thought others had been through worse.
-I felt ashamed of who I was, and I would always find ways to validate that belief.
-I felt like I was never doing or living life “right,” that something was always wrong with me.
-I would get so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings that would send me in a spiral, and I didn’t know where they were coming from.
-My inner world was a battleground.
-I felt like there was something wrong with me to have so many emotions and to feel so deeply. Like maybe I was losing my mind.
-I was endlessly searching, so hard. Searching searching searching in a desperate attempt to find something I couldn’t even describe.
-I never felt confident in my choices. Actually, I didn’t feel confident in anything I did.
-I felt extremely uncomfortable with myself.
-I sought validation through everyone I knew.
-I hated being me.
Honestly, as I am typing this, I feel sad that I ever hated myself because I have found such a deep unconditional love for myself now. It is this radiant self-acceptance that seemed so unreal back then, that I never even could have dreamed of feeling this way! I remember that feeling of always turning against myself like that, and it caused so much pain and disconnection within myself that would also project out into my daily life.
All of these things listed may seem super intense seeing them all together. But I was still able to have fun, laugh, have loving relationships. I was living a “normal” life, but my inner world was a hot mess.
Now, I have always had a deep feeling of purpose in my life, although I could not see where it was coming from. I would see deeply beyond the surface of people and situations. People would come to me with their problems, and I loved helping them. I have always been creative & intuitive. I have been writing songs and poetry since I was a little girl. I love to paint, create music, sing, and to cheer people up! My true self was always there shining, but I had to deal with my own inner demons before I could fully embody the truth of who I am.
If I could go back to my past self now with the love and understanding I embody now; I would tell her this…
Your ability to feel so deeply is a gift.
Don’t be afraid of failing, because everyone does, it not a big deal. And when you do fail at something don’t let it define you. Just see it as part of the process to success.
The way you can dive past the surface into any situation, person, conversation, movement, and see right to the core of truth within it, IS A GIFT. No your not crazy. Do not be afraid of your gifts. No, you don’t read to much into things. You are a Soul who is here to share these deeper insights with the world. You are blessed with eyes to see and ears to hear and not everyone that you are surrounded by will understand this because many are only focused on what they see right now, here in the physical.
You are not broken, You are not a mess, You are not stupid, You are not alone. You are beautiful, inside and out. Feel your own pain and feel it deeply, it is valid, but don’t stay there. There is more to experience! Don’t live in fear! Your fears are tiny in comparison to your Soul that is rising inside of you.
Now I am sharing this because I know this will resonate with some of you!
After working with people 1:1 for seven years now, I can tell you that this is a fairly common mindset for most women! Especially, intuitive & empathic women! It is time to raise the bar for normalcy!
So hear me speaking these words - YOU, Goddess, I see you. I feel your pain, I see your struggle, and I hear your cries. You are NOT alone. I see the baggage you carry. I know it’s hard, and you may feel alone, but I SEE YOU. You are not alone. I believe in you. I KNOW that you are on an epic Soul journey and you can heal through the traumas you have and come to know the REAL YOU underneath it all. You are supported and held even beyond your own understanding. You are here for a deeper purpose than you may even know right now. It’s time to begin this new chapter!
If I can heal and transform my life, I KNOW you can. I am here to help you get there. Rising up into all you are, fully empowered in your own life, emotions, gifts, so you can really step into your life with deep purpose.
I’m going to be honest. I didn’t think I would be here. I really thought that my life would always be that way. I never thought I would feel the way I do right now. I cherish my path of unfolding, and I am so thankful for how far I have journeyed into my own SOUL.
If you are feeling stuck and would like to work with me, I offer Shadow Sessions, Intuitive Life Coaching, & Soul Guidance Readings.
I am genuinely passionate about helping women SEE their own inner truth and step into it fully empowered! The journey is messy, and I’ve been there as you can see. You can do it on your own, but it’s always nice to have some loving support!
I am sending you all lots of love!